Ok, so now that I have read the LIFE STORY GUIDE, well lets just say, not as easy as I thought it would be. Here are the dot points that we have to cover, thankfully there are 2 that we will not have to complete but let me just start by saying, there are allot of letters between A to N people! Also you are not to answer as if answering a question but to have it read like you are telling your story. Easier said than done.
A) A Personal History
- Describe the kind of person you are
- Describe the kind of person our partner is
B) Childhood/Adolescence in your Family of Origin
- Tell us about your mother – how you remember her when you were a child, how you and she relate now if she is still alive.
- Same for your father.
- Tell us about any brothers or sisters.
- Tell us about your family life when you were a child.
- What were your parents strengths and weaknesses in parenting you?
- What contact do you have with your family members now?
C) Your Education and Occupation
- What is your current occupation?
- What are the difficulties and frustrations of this group?
- What other work have you been involved in?
- What level in education did you reach?
D) Lifestyle
- Describe your talents, interests and activities.
- Describe your religious upbringing.
- What are your current religious beliefs and practices?
- Tell us about your hobbies, recreational activities and interests.
- Do you have police convictions?
E) Health
- Describe that state of your health. What are the health problems that you have at this time? What illnesses have you had? Are you now under the care of a doctor, psychologist, psychiatrist?
- Do you take any medication regularly?
- Discuss any medical or psychiatic treatment you have had.
F) Emotional Adjustment
- What kinds of things upset you?
- How do you usually react to pressure and stress when nothing is going right or when everything is a mess?
- Does this affect your health?
G) Any Previous Marriages or Long Term Relationships – (We don’t have to complete this point as neither of us have been married before, but think its good to help others out encase they are looking for things at are asked in these sort of things so will still put it in. This one is one of the longest so bear with me.)
- Date of marriage
- How was marriage terminated – death or divorce?
- Date of termination of marriage – why did it end?
- What was your marriage like?
- How did you cope with the separation – how did you feel?
- Hat effect do you think your previous marriage had on beginning a new relationship with your present spouse?
- If you have children who do not live with you, please give:
- names
- ages
- present whereabouts
- relationships with you
- how often they visit. If no visits, why not?
- are they aware of your plans to adopt?
- how do they feel about this?
- how do you feel about the separation from your children?
H) Your marriage As You See It
- How did you meet
- Can you remember what your first feelings were about your wife/husband?
- When did you feel you got to know him/her well?
- What made you feel that he/she was going to be the “one”?
- What is the worst think that has happened to you in your marriage? The best?
- How do you let your husband/wife know he/she is important to you?
- Three things you like about your spouse. Three things you don’t.
- What are the strengths in your marriage? What are the weaknesses?
- What continuing areas of conflict/argument are there?
- How do you make decisions and try to solve problems? (give an example)
- Describe a row that could not be solved?
- Do you think you have a mutually -satisfying sexual relationship? Please consider the following
- Has your sex life been a problem in your relationship at any stage?
- Is sex important in your relationship?
- Overall, how do you rate your parents marriage?
- As you look at your parents life together, hoe do you perceive it?
- What was their relationship like during your childhood and what is it like now?
I) fertility - If you are unable to have children
- Please list the treatment you have each undergone on establishing your ability to have a child.
- Please give details of the effect on you individually, of the treatment and the results you received.
- Were there changes in your feelings over time? please describe.
- How did the treatment and results affect your martial relationship
- in the beginning?
- at a later date?
J) Experience With Other People’s Children
- If you are childless, have you ever minded other people’s children?
- What experience have you had with children?
- Who were they? How often?
- Would you bring up your children as your were brought up, or differently?
- What methods of discipline do you prefer?
- How do you show affection to children? Do you find it easy to show affection to a child?
- Last time a child in your care was naughty
- how did you handle it?
- were you angry?
- Are you patient or short-tempered?
- What do you call angry?
- What are the definite rules in your family?
- What “unwritten” rules are there?
K) Your own children (if you are a parent)
Relations with your children (if any)
- Describe your relationship with your child(ren).What do you feel about being a parent? How do you think your child(ren) see you? What problems and satisfaction has parenting brought you? What are each of your children like?
- Describe each of your children or child’s – personality, physically, at school, socially, their hobbies and recreation.
- How do you think each of your children or child will be affected by the placement of a (special needs child?) an infant.
- How do your child(ren) get on with others?
- What does your child or each of your children think about having another child join your family? What do they think it will be like?
- Which child in your family would you describe as being the most vulnerable?
L) Adoption
How did you reach a decision to care for someone else’s child?
- Describe what you think it will be like to be a “caregiver” an adoptive mother or father to an infant? What will it require of you?
- What might be your expectations of the child?
- Describe the sort of child you and your family could accept and love.
- Whatdo you think children inherit from their birth parents? What do you think a child should be told about his parents and how he came to live with you?
- Contact with birth family. Most of our children need to maintain some sort of contact with birth famiy members. Could you accept regular contact with grandparents, brothers and sisters, natural parents? Please give details of your feelings in the matter.
M) Financial Status
Describe your present financial situation and include any special problems you have in this area.
How will another child joining your family affect your finances? eg
- when one of you stops work for 12 months to provie full time care to the infant.
N) Other Requirements
- Have you had your medical assessments completed by your doctor?
- Have you given a photograph of your family to someone in the Adoption & Permanent Care Unit? If not, please attach it to your life story.
- Have your referees sent in their references?
- Have you completed your Police Check?
AND THAT IS IT!
Lucky or unlucky at least there are 2 in there that we don’t have to complete and N is just a check over everything. That makes 3 points that we don’t have to cover. But still its allot of information to put in.
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and of course there his our trip to plan. Not sure if I have even mentioned it but as it goes, you would all know about Murphys Law?
